


C Is For Christmas

by FakePlastikTrees



Series: Holiday ABC's 2012 [4]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-28
Updated: 2012-12-28
Packaged: 2017-11-22 19:18:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/613329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FakePlastikTrees/pseuds/FakePlastikTrees
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The truth is, her entire time since Elliot’s left has been a perfect mess.</p>
            </blockquote>





	C Is For Christmas

_A Christmas Story_ is twenty-three minutes in, the twenty-four hour marathon just having begun at midnight as Christmas Day tradition calls for every year.

Olivia pulls the blanket tighter around herself and sips on her beer, hoping her phone will ring or sleep will finally take over. It’s no use. Outside, it’s peaceful and quiet and it‘s been snowing on and off for the past two hours or so. As quiet as her neighborhood gets anyway. The lights draped over her tiny, artificial tree blink to some unheard rhythm and Christmas is all around her. She sighs and tries to concentrate on the movie. Once upon a time, this was her favorite time of year. Not just Christmas, but this day. She’d wait around for midnight to come and turn on the television to her favorite tradition. She’s owned the DVD for years, but it’s never quite the same as watching it with the commercials and everything. Somehow, this year, it’s not working out.

The truth is, her entire time since Elliot’s left has been a perfect mess. She’s never really known what family is like outside of their partnership. She can admit to herself that she loves him. A lot more than she’ll ever love in her life. But fear of losing that support kept them both at arm’s length throughout their years together. She knew, of course, that he’d leave at some point. Elliot loves his children with an overbearing kind of force that only Olivia truly understood. That’s why she feared, with every horrible case they encountered, that it would be his undoing. But she hoped, somewhere in the back of her mind, that the day would never come.

And now she was alone, truly alone, left with nothing but the memory of him hanging around her neck. She wonders if his wife knows that Olivia is walking around wearing his dog tags. She plays out the possible inquiries and Elliot brushing off the question or making some excuse about it. Some things were always private from the world when it came to the two of them, even if they never really talked about it or what it meant.

It’s as if she’s mourning him. And she hates it because she shouldn’t be. But then, she wonders if he’s doing the same. If he misses her. It’s no use. It doesn’t matter. Life goes on and it should. That will be her New Year’s resolution, Liv thinks, meeting new people. Making a family. One that won’t leave.

Rolling her head against the backrest, she wonders why the hell she’s still wide awake. She’s so lost in thoughts of her own pathetic loneliness, she just barely catches the knock on the door. Straining to hear, she listens for it again, just to be sure. And there it is.

“Who is it?” She asks as she walks toward the door, reading through her mental rolodex of people who might be showing up unannounced at twelve-thirty AM on Christmas.

“It’s me.”

She stops dead in her tracks, her heart hammering in her chest, trying to make sure it’s really his voice and not just her mind becoming delusional. “Elliot?”

“Yeah.” His voice is muffled behind the door, but it’s him. She knows that tone and the gruffness that is so uniquely him.

He’s leaning against the opposite wall when she opens the door. He’s got slacks and a black peat coat on, a nice, black shirt underneath. “What are you doing here?”

Never mind that she hasn’t seen him in far too long, never mind that she didn’t even get a phone call, she is so happy to see him she can practically feel herself grow complete again. Still, she can’t tear herself away from the open door, not when he’s staring at her like he’s been withheld from oxygen and is only now able to breathe.

“I should have called,” He says, his voice low and guilty, but most importantly sober, which is the best part for some reason.

“Yes, you should have,” She nods, emotion already knotting up in her throat as she grips the doorknob tighter.

“Liv--I couldn’t.”

Meeting his gaze, she knows what he means. And she understands. Because as painful as it’s been not knowing why--not hearing it straight from him, hearing him say goodbye would have killed them both. So she nods as her eyes become glassy with tears. “I know.”

“I’ve been driving around for two hours and I ended up here.”

“Where are Kathy and the kids?”

“Home. Their home. It’s over.”

Suddenly, their in the hall. She’s gripping him tightly and he’s crushing her to his chest, so tightly that she can’t breathe, and it’s perfect. He smells like she remembers and feels like she remembers. She doesn’t know if he’s staying, but she thinks that if she can hold onto him long enough, it will convince him to do so.

Words fail them. They always have. So she touches his face and presses her forehead to his, breathing in and out as he pulls her even closer still and she sighs.

He hesitates, tilting his head. Holding her breath, she waits. He presses his lips to her cheek and then exhales a hot, heavy breath against her skin that sends a shiver throughout her entire body. She returns the kiss, soft against his cheek, adding another to his shoulder before burying her face there and wrapping her arms around his neck, curling her fingers into his collar.

“Stay,” She says.

He squeezes her briefly and nods a wordless “Yes”.


End file.
